Topshop vest, Primark polo neck, Gap jeans, Primark boots, thrifted necklace, Accessorize flower clip
Worst feeling in the world? Finding the most beautiful, beautiful dress – it’s your colour. It’s cheap (ish). There are no queues for the fitting rooms. You don’t usually try stuff on (size 12, let’s go) but you will, just to marvel at its beauty. The fitting rooms are too small, too hot. There are no hooks for your clothes. The curtain doesn’t pull all the way across. But it doesn’t matter, because once you get this dress on, it’ll look amazing. On it goes. Into the mirror you look. Oh…
Sometimes I rip the unflattering wretch off me, pull on my jeans – a minute ago dowdy shrouds of everyday life, now faithful friends – and storm off. Other times I get upset and wonder why I never went back to Street Dance (too tired, glasses got in way) or Pilates (totally unflexible, leggings I bought especially looked hideous). One thing I always do is buy other, reliable items to cheer myself up. Think chunky knits, necklaces and bracelets. I have skinny wrists.
I’ve never been overweight – I’ve hovered around the 10/12 mark for years and years. My problem is tone. By my own admission, I am lazy. I work hard and don’t want to spend my evenings in the gym when I could be watching America’s Next Top Model with a Muller Fruit Corner. I despise organised sports (and unorganised ones), swimming is difficult when you’re worryingly short sighted and allergic to contact lenses and walking to work is impossible when work is 35 miles down the M1. So how does a lazy girl like me stay in shape just enough to look great in a sequin body con dress with structured shoulders?
I’m resigned to the fact that I’ll never be skinny enough to pull off leggings with a crop top (would I really want to?) or anything that requires you to go sans bra. But maybe that’s not such a bad thing. I tend to know what suits me (fitted on the bottom, loose around the stomach, low cut) and 99% of the time, I’m okay with that. It’s just, that dress…
Jen
PS – I also have size 8 feet. For the lovely ladies who commented on my brogues thinking their own feet were way too big – have you seen the size of my hooves?! Go for it!!