On Feeling Confident

Posted in Daily Outfits, Writing.

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Cardigan and scarf: Zara

Playsuit, belt and brogues: Primark
Bird ring and wool tights: Topshop

I wouldn’t describe myself as unconfident. I’m sometimes shy, but I have confidence in myself, my talents and my abilities. There are certain things that can shake that inner belief though, making me question myself. And it’s often the smallest, most insignificant occurrences that cause cracks in my confidence.

Today’s outfit isn’t a true representation of what I wore – I changed out of this playsuit after taking these photos. I just felt… exposed. It’s not a particularly bold outfit. It’s not revealing or unflattering or even totally batshit crazy. Apart from the obvious peeing-in-a-playsuit difficulty, this is pretty regular get-up. So why the wobbles?

Part of it is just general girl stuff. Bad skin, need a haircut, overindulged at the weekend and playsuit feels tighter than usual, etc. But I also think it takes a hell of a lot of balls to put yourself out there the way fashion bloggers do, and scrutinising photos of yourself day after day could bring out insecurities in anyone. I’m not fishing for compliments or wallowing in self pity with this post, and I’m sure I’ll be completely over it tomorrow. I will not be defeated by a Primark playsuit! πŸ™‚

Do you ever feel like this? Is it a one-off thing, or something that strikes you quite regularly? I’d love to know your thoughts.

40 Comments

Steph0188

I think we all feel like that in some way or another at some point. I think my clothes & what I wear is the most confident thing about me though, saying that, I do post ootd’s and what not, but I am not ‘fashion blogger’ I dont study fashion & I couldnt tell you whats the MOST fashionable now A or B. But I know what I look good it, and what I feel happy in, and I like to share that with my readers.
Usualy its more my hair, face or makeup that will make me feel unconfident.
This outfit is great though. Just stand up and feel good πŸ™‚ xx

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Alex

Jen, I really love your photos today. You look really comfortable with yourself and cosy and just very pretty and stylish. The middle pic is so cute too!

I often think it’s when we’re most critical of ourselves that other people give us the nicest comments. Not cos we fish for compliments or anything, I definitely don’t mean that. It’s just something I’ve noticed – the days when I post pics and think to myself “ffs, I look AWFUL, why am I even bothering” are often the times when I get the loveliest comments that are totally unexpected and point out things that I’ve forgotten I quite like about myself. Does that ramble even make sense? Anyway, don’t be hard on yourself missy, you look great, as always πŸ™‚

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Alison

I get like this every so often πŸ™ but I love this outfit on you Jen! Try it again sometimes when you are feeling beautiful, you totally pull it off.

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Helen

I used to feel unconfident most of the time. Even now, almost 5 stone lighter, I still have my off days! I think most people do.

For what it’s worth I think you look gorgeous! And i’m coveting everything you’re wearing! x

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jaljen

I only feel like this very occasionally. It’s so much easier as you get older, I feel. It is for me anyway. I wear stuff ‘inappropriate’ to my age i.e. denim shorts and tights at the age of 55.

FWIW I think you always look fabulous.

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daisychain

I can totally relate Jen,
I’m finding now, more than ever I get days like that,
but I also find blogging a valuable tool for overcoming it, like I can go back a day later and see a photo and realise that I didn’t look as bad as I felt I did x

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LilyLipstick

I think you look fab in your playsuit – not just saying it, you actually do look great!
I frequently have days when I just feel crap…my skin’s been playing up lately and its really knocked my confidence and hardly makes me want to put close-up pictures on my blog of my spots in all their glory!
I think confidence crises are just part of being a girl though, being a blogger just sometimes makes it hard to be objective and realise that no one IRL is noticing my skin being less-than-perfect and that the pack of Haribo I scoffed hasn’t actually materialsed in a spare tyre around my middle!
Great, insightful post as always, Jen. x

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rainbows & fairydust

Love this on you!

Yeah I feel like that all the time! Although that outfit would get a lot of attention were i live! I am 15mins from central London yet the people who live near me are SO conservative that if you are not head to toe in Jigsaw or Gap then your a freak!

A bit of make-up and a blow-dry and I am over it …. try it!

xoxo

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Laura

I know exactly how you feel – I’ve really only just started blogging and find it hard to take a picture that I’m happy with putting on the internet for everyone to see!
However, I think this outfit looks great on you – before I got to the text I thought it would be able how you do feel confident – and you should!

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Lil

You look gorgeous by the way, and I’m not just saying that. Love the scarf especially.

I think we all feel like that sometimes, don’t we? I guess I’m pretty brave when it comes to making some fashion choices. In regard to my immediate circle anyhow. Sometimes I do feel silly, overdressed, like a pantomime dame. Sometimes when I’m feeling a bit bashful I push the jumpsuits and the leopard platforms to one side, but that rarely happens. Usually feel uncomfortable makes me feel defiant. After the initial minutes of feeling uncomfortable, I can usually shake it off.

Sure, sometimes the way I look can get me down, but then I remember how much pleasure I get from wacking on some ankle socks, or wearing a huge flower corsage which gets me funny looks on the bus.
Swings and roundabouts really.

X

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Lucy

Firstly – I love the outfit, before I’d read the post I genuinely though ‘love it, you look so comfortable in that’

Secondly – I always think that fashion bloggers are really gutsy in what they wear – including yourself – I’m so boring and scared to try anything new or which will invite criticism. It’s hard to be confident outside of your comfort zone, but I’m a big advocate of forcing oneself to step outside of that zone as often as possible.

xx

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Heather-Louise

I definitely became a blogger to try and boost my confidence, and I picked fashion as a route because it is the one thing that I truly feel any confidence towards – I love clothes, and I know what suits me which makes me feel better about myself. It’s just everything else I have problems with to be honest, but am using this to try and regain some semblance of self-esteem!

Love the pictures today Jen, you always throw the most beautiful things together, and your blog really inspires me to try and become better everyday.

Heather-Lou x
HeatherRetro

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Anonymous

Hiya ! Just wanted to tell you that i LOVE EVERY SINGLE one of your outfits ! How classy, how original, how cute you are !!
Thanks for that and keep it up

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Helen

Jen I love that second photo! you look so nice and cosy. Sometimes I feel like that with short playsuits, or other short revealing outfits. Some days you just don’t feel it!

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charl

my sister was wearing the exact same playsuit this afternoon its a lovely piece!
i love it with the scarf..still looks all cosy and not in the least as if your showing all your bits off!
i have one dress that on some days feels so much shorter than on other days .. i dont know what it is and i always feel a bit exposed in that then.. but then i dont have that much confidence in my style anymore.. really need a massive spending spree to get me into this decade!!!!

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Kelly

Always. I buy stuff that looks great on, then bottle it when it comes to going out in it. For fear of looking too out there or sometimes just being noticed. I’ve got better, and the more compliments I get the bolder I get.

You look amazing in this, you have such fab legs. Wear it tomorrow then scream “in your face jumpy!!” when you take it off tomorrow eve. πŸ™‚

xxx

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Harriet

Thanks for the great post – you look amazing in the playsuit, but I definitely have the confidence wobbles and I know when you feel like that nothing anyone else tells you will change your mind!

I had my hair chopped really short a couple of months ago and felt so exposed and unattractive afterwards without my long hair to hide behind, it took me a little while to get over it.

As long as you understand your feelings and don’t let them control you I tihnk it’s perfectly natural to feel this way.

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WeShop

Definitely! Since starting blogging this year I’ve gained lots more confidence (e.g. people aren’t shocked at how bad I look!) but have also become a bit more subject to off-days when nothing feels right. If I wasn’t thinking about photographing myself it probably wouldn’t cross my mind, but that adds pressure I guess. You look great in this outfit though and the 2nd pic is very ‘you’ I think – in that that’s how I imagine the real life you to be (of that makes sense). xx

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danniekate

honestly, i’m a very shy person. i don’t see in myself wonderful things and i don’t always understand why people are friends with me – put it down to childhood bullying, bad relationships, being a girl, whatever – but one day, my dad just told me “being shy is a natural inclination. not dealing with it is laziness” and so now i make myself talk to people at press things, smile at strangers and try and be a little bit oblivious to what other people think of me. and yeah, i have a really self-deprecating sense of humour and i use it around strangers/when i’m nervous so i do need to work on that. but i can’t stand it when people let their “low self esteem” or what have you stop them from trying things!

+ you’re so right; us fash pack put ourselves up to so much scrutiny! great great post xxx

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SabinePsynopsis

Oh, you should have kept the lovely playsuit on! No, honestly, I know what you mean, blogging does increase self-scrutiny, but most of all, there are days when exposure is fine, and there are days when I need clothes to hide. xo

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Ayden

I love you for sharing this with us jen because you really make me feel more human at times. I wear scruffy clothes to work during the week, painty jeans and big hoodies, just because of the messy nature of my job. so by the weekend im excited about wearing a nice dress or getting my leggings out and feeling a bit more girlie. but on a saturday morning i’ll literally try on 5 or 6 different things, feeling really uninspired and completely defeated because I just dont feel ‘right’ in anything. i feel like im loosing my touch, its defo a confidence thing but I have no idea why πŸ™ i dont want it to become a regular thing – and its these kind of posts that remind me a little bit of low self esteem is totally normally. just not too much! so yeah, thanks for sharing lovely <3 xx

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Little Scribbler

Girl, the playsuit looks banging on you! Embrace it.

How tall are you out of curiosity? I struggle with a playsuit on account of my pear-shaped-ness but, even worse, the last Primark one I tried might have looked good if it weren’t for (whisper it), camel toe! Aha! Not wearing that wasn’t about confidence. It was about comfort and decency!

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Penny Dreadful

I feel like that loads. Sometimes it is just doing something a bit different to what you are used to, it makes you feel a bit uncomfortable to start with. Sometimes, it is because you know you look good – stupid as that sounds, if you aren’t in the mood for attention when you are ‘the lady in red when everybody else is wearing tan’, then you change out of the damn red. If that makes sense. And sometimes I just put my shoulders back and think ‘if people are going to stare, I may as well have good posture while they are doing it’.

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Serina

Totally understand.

And also, just to give you another perspective, I love the blogging world, but being indian, I feel restricted in terms of what I can wear sometimes. It restricts sometimes what I can post, however I’ve grown used to wearing modest clothes and kind of like it.

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claire (jazzpad.)

This sounds exactly like how I feel pretty much most of the month ha. There is nothing to pinpoint exactly what is wrong… but it just feels off. You needn’t have felt so exposed.. in the images there is nothing revealing or OTT about this, but I understand it’s easy to think negatively even if everyone else is supporting you! I really like the playsuit, the print is lovely! jazzy ♥

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Leia

Oh Jen. I feel like this almost every time I take outfit pictures. To the point where I feel like maybe I need to stop!

For the record, you look fantastic πŸ™‚

Leia

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Sherin

Hi Jen,

I think you look great in the whole outfit. The scarf is so lovely.

Aww, sorry to hear that you’re having a hard time of it all! I’ve thought about stopping outfit shots a lot because of insecurities, but then one nice compliment gives me confidence again.

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Pearl Westwood

Soemtimes it doesnt even matter what the outfit is, its just your state of mind if you dont feel right nothing works! I really love this look I think the brogues really tone down the shortness of the playsuit, you should definately wear it, or maybe swap the tights for leggings if you want a bit more coverage.

Thanks for your comment on my guest post for Kate it is nice to know your not alone in these things!

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Alice

I admit I feel exactly like this at least once a week (if not more). I think that sometimes we all have little wobbles and outfit insecurities, it’s just in our natures.

I love the colours you have chosen, everything seems to tie in so well xx

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Cherry Pullinger

I wish I felt confident enough to wear an outfit like that. I’m extremely unconfident when it comes to clothes. I can’t wear skirts because I can’t stand my legs, I also can’t wear vest tops or tshirts that show too much of my shoulders. I can’t really explain why, I’m just so unconfident about them that I physically can’t bare it if they are on show.

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Make Do Style

You can have bad clothes day in your head – it just happens. I usually think it happens before a period!
Your outfit is lovely and you look great. Stick your chin in the air and brazen days of doubt out xx

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Vicki

I feel like this all the time my dear!! esp seeing bad photos of myself on a daily basis ( al the blog outtake shots!) my main insecurity is my skin.. think every girl in the world is too hard on themselves. xo

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E is for Eleanor

I am so similar, I’ll put on a whole outfit at home and feel brilliant and then get scared and change into something i feel more comfy in. I would love that extra bit of confidence sometimes to just say ‘you know what? I dont care what anyone else thinks!’

Blogging has helped alot though!

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Lucy

You look lovely and yes we all have a flutter of doubt now and then but go on – be brave! I think you look fabulous, it would be a terrible shame if the jumpsuit never saw the sunlight…

It’s perfectly normal to think like this and I would be lying if I said I was any different. What I do know is that as soon as you leave the house and there’s no going back, you will not regret it x

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Nicola

In that second picture you look so cute and tiny!

I have a problem with pictures of myself. It’s weird for a blogger to admit that, but I always hate my stupid facial expression, or think I’m standing awkwardly. I have an image of myself in my head and when I’m confronted with an actual photograph it conflicts with that image and makes me uncomfortable.

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