Our first year of marriage has been hectic to say the least – we tried (and failed) to buy a house, moved into and entirely furnished a new rented place, saw two more of our friends tie the knot and one bring a baby boy into the world. We’ve done bridesmaid and best man duties, launched new ventures, experienced the terrifying reality of freelance life and navigated insane work schedules, amazing opportunities, tricky finances and both success and disappointment, together.
One thing I found when planning my wedding and working through my first year of marriage is there are very few ‘real’ accounts of weddings and married life. There’s an endless supply of ‘wedspiration’ and I loved looking at this when I was planning (particularly Love My Dress, which is the original and best in my opinion). But it’s often disheartening and depressing to see the barrage of total and utter perfection when you’re planning a wedding that feels like it’s careering off the rails, or trying to work with a budget that’s about 10 grand short for your ideas, or freaking out at the overwhelming pressure of the day.
I wanted to include this particular photo in this post – not only because it’s one of my absolute favourites from my own wedding, but because it’s a good example of how imperfection can be welcomed, celebrated and remembered fondly.
I printed this photo out as part of Rob’s first anniversary present. It’s now in a lovely frame and sitting pride of place on our mantlepiece. We love it because it’s such a real representation of our wedding – my veil is gone and my dress is hooked up on the bustle. I did this literally as soon as the group photos were over, because the veil was pissing me off and the dress was dragging about everywhere and people kept standing on it. Rob’s jacket is off and his shirt is untucked, because we’d done the hard ceremony bit and he was ready to party.
I have looked at countless wedding photos, and you very rarely get to see stuff like this. I just wish I had a photo of the state of my dress at 11pm, because that shit was DISGUSTING. Don’t wear a long dress if your wedding reception is in a field, that’s my advice. It took three industrial attempts to clean it, and it still has a grey tinge.
I’ve already shown you the ‘perfection’ of my own wedding, and now I’d like to write about the bits I struggled with – the most stressful parts of the planning, what went wrong on the day and why it totally didn’t matter, what came next – and what’s happened since the ‘big day’, during 12 months of married life. My notes on a modern marriage, if you will.
I’ll be kicking off next week with the number 1 question asked of all newly married couples – ‘when are you having children?’ – but for now, if you have any wedding/marriage-based topics you’d like me to cover just let me know in the comments. You should also ready Poppy D’s excellent, honest accounts of her own wedding planning. And I’ll see you here next week!